YOU ARE
HERE

Contents

Preface                                                                    vi

Prologue                                                                  ix

  01  Awakening                                                        01

 02  Groundwork                                                      23

 03  Enter the Bear                                                   36

 04  Dream Worlds                                                   67

 05  Shamans of Old                                                 72

 06  The Apprentice                                                   92

 07  Discoveries                                                        103

 08  The Arrival of Spring                                        118

 09  Šipa·puli·ma Found                                          131

 10  Sacred Offerings                                               153

 11  The Messenger                                                  171

 12  Zuñi Bound                                                       189

13  Commemorations                                              209

 14  Encounters                                                         225

15  The Pilgrimage                                                   246

16  Powerful Medicine                                             270

17  After the Fact                                                     290

18  Synopsis of the Age of Reality                          302

 Shamans' Genealogy                                              309

"Dancing With S

Šipa·puli·ma Found 

           The two Zuni were quite excited to find that their little stream was fed by a clear-flowing spring that was gushing forth at a point just short of the very pinnacle of this part of the lower southern Sandia Crest.  This unanticipated but more than welcomed discovery of a thriving spring on a mountaintop was a mystical, spiritual event for the both of them.  They felt with a great deal of confidence that they had actually discovered that most sacred of all of the telaššina·we, because this was a mountaintop that was surely somewhere close to šipa·puli·ma, and within their sight they surely beheld the most beautiful spring gushing forth the most refreshing and purest water that either of them had ever previously tasted.   They spent the entirety of that night fasting and only drinking of these invigoratingly cold waters from this most sacred of all springs that flowed so abundantly from ·awitelin citta, Earth Mother. 

Early the next morning, at the first glimpse of the sun when they had awakened for no other apparent reason, they discovered a rather large brown bear in their otherwise peaceful presence, ever so casually drinking from this sacred spring.  They were calmly astonished by the incident and looked on ever so quietly at this wild beast that displayed no obvious signs of being at all disturbed that some strangers had invaded its otherwise exclusive territory.  There was an atmosphere of total tranquility, and when this great bear had finally finished drinking, it gave a curiously fleeting look at the two Zunis, who were now securely holding each other in their blankets, and then departed slowing, giving one last look over its shoulder.  This impressive brown bear had emulated the most serene feelings of strength and confidence, perhaps because he knew his own importance as part of the larger scheme of things.  Kiasiwa and Raquel took this rather unexpected but certainly welcomed incident with another great bear as a further sign that they had indeed discovered not only a most sacred telaššina·we, but that most sacred and revered šipa·puli·ma; exactly what they had initially journeyed so far from Zuñi for, and it was, as they had been told it would surely be, somewhere east of the Zuni homeland and most assuredly in the vicinity of the Sandia Mountains.

Kiasiwa and Raquel remained for the rest of the morning at the spring’s side and were both rather quiet and serene, in a tranquil state of spiritual meditation.  At noon they both began preparations to depart without any verbal communication, just as though it was that appointed time to return to their adobe.  The return journey down the mountain was certainly easier to make, and they were able to reach the little adobe just as the sun was beginning to set. 

Kiasiwa had been for some time considering the commencing of Raquel’s education in the sacred ways of a Zuni Medicine Man.  This was quite reasonable for Kiasiwa to have considered under their rather inimitable circumstances, particularly where there were to be no children born of this celibate union and likely no son to train and carry on the sacred traditions of a Zuni Medicine Man.  The next morning, Kiasiwa took the time to explain to Raquel that he wanted her to be initiated as a full-fledged Medicine Woman.  Even though this was not a common practice for the Zuni, Kiasiwa felt very strongly that Raquel’s acquired knowledge to that point, and being the actual blood daughter of a powerful Medicine Man and bearing the mark of the Bear, all combined to confirm Kiasiwa’s own intuitively felt feelings that this most unusual Zuni women was predestined to follow this gifted path of healing. 

Then Kiasiwa gave to Raquel a small glass vial that he had previously acquired as a gift from Padre Manuél.  It was a special glass vial that Padre Manuél had had in his possession for the specific purpose of carrying “holy water” when he was away from the convenience of the sanctuary.  It was not more than 4 centimeters long and had been sealed with a small bit of beeswax.  Kiasiwa instructed Raquel to place this empty vial in her medicine bag for safekeeping and told her that she was to wear the medicine bag henceforth every day.  Kiasiwa told Raquel, “one day you will discover what will become your most powerful of all medicines, and that sacred medicine is to be placed in this tiny vial and then sealed.”

On the next occasion of Kiasiwa meeting with Padre Manuél, he shared his personal thoughts about initiating Raquel as a Medicine Woman and told Manuél that he had already given her that little vial to be placed in her medicine bag, “I know that you will not be offended that I have passed on this little gift that was intended for me.  Your having had this vial on your person for such spiritual purposes has blessed it in a special way, and that blessing now remains with the vial that is now in Raquel’s medicine bag that she is to wear henceforth.”  Padre Manuél offered to fill the tiny vial with holy water from the church if he so desired.  Kiasiwa thanked Manuél for his very thoughtful offer, but graciously declined, stating, “there is a stronger medicine that Raquel will discover for herself some day that is not unlike but perhaps a bit more powerful in its nature than your church’s blessed holy water.  Your holy water has already more than previously sanctified this special little vial, and even more significant is the love that you displayed in giving me that vial and that love will accompany this vial forever.  Your holy water is not part of our Zuni medicine, and we place in our medicine bags only those things that we understand from our own Zuni traditions; only those objects and elements that have a particular meaning to the one that bears the medicine bag.  I hope you understand this and are not offended!  I believe that Raquel will always appreciate that this gift came from one that we both love so dearly.” 

Kiasiwa also joyfully disclosed their rather astonishing discovery of the telaššina·we that was so appropriately located at the very top of the lower Sandia Mountains and what this numinous espial had so significantly meant to the both of them, as well as their rather remarkable and dramatic encounter with that awesome brown bear; that bear that so casually shared those mutually exchanged glances of total acceptance.  Kiasiwa went on to further relate to Padre Manuél that it was that very next morning during his spiritual coming together and union with the sacred spring that he had also arrived at the inspirational thought of one day initiating Manuél into his curing society, and thus having him confirmed as his spiritual brother in the clan of the Bear.  Kiasiwa stated that this would aptly come only after some rather lengthy instructions in the spiritual and healing ways a Zuni Medicine Man, that is of course, if Padre Manuél would be willing to accept this extraordinary challenge. 

There should be no surprise that Padre Manuél was taken quite emotionally with this gracious and totally unexpected offer, and enthusiastically accepted without even the slightest of hesitations.  Manuél viewed this totally unsolicited proposal as some sort of spiritual fulfillment of a much earlier unspoken fantasy: a better means of accomplishing his passionate desire to establish a more meaningful relationship with his native neighbors.  Manuél   was already closely and spiritually aligned to those indigenous peoples of his beloved homeland,, and with this special initiation as a Zuni Medicine Man he would be better able to demonstrate this devotion to the world at large.

José wasted very little time commencing with the rather time-consuming training of the two most intimate members of his own spiritual retinue.  That entire first winter, José spent a great deal of time and energy carefully going over the unique intricacies associated with being a Zuni Medicine Man, and most particularly, many of those more deeply rooted lessons that he had been so fortunate to have learned from his own loving father, Popé.  Raquel had already acquired a rather comprehensive understanding of many of the more traditionally accepted tenets of becoming a full-fledged Zuni Medicine Man from her beloved Kaka, and most significantly she had already acquired an extensive knowledge of indigenous herbs and their various and sundry curing applications.  Manuél, on the other hand, had already acquired an inspiring and deeply sensitive understanding of that uniquely special connection that should always exist between ones deeper spiritual essence and their physical and emotional well-being.  As much as José would share his own acquired knowledge and vast experiences with these two exceptionally spiritual beings, he often found himself expanding his own profound understanding of the delicate balance between individual requirements for a full life and those universally held laws that govern much of all humanity.  These seemingly endless, meaningful, and mutual exchanges continued to illustrate for each of them that it was through innate acts of giving to others that we find our greatest blessing, rather than the generous offerings of our fellow brethren.  This peerless trinity of human spirituality had in essence been blessed with three heads, three hearts, and three beautiful souls that each gave and received in the spirit of a collective passion that transcended all of their natural and uniquely anthropological differences.

For almost every lesson that José would present in his uniquely Zuni fashion, Manuél would share the teachings of Jesus that more often than not would consistently parallel the essence found within the Zuni’s sacred teachings and traditions.  It was Raquel whose spiritual growth had probably benefited the greatest if from listening and paying attention to the Socratic dialectic ramblings between her two friends.  It was precisely the liberal arts foundation of Manuél’s Jesuit education that had the most profound benefit for José, by expanding his worldview beyond anything that he could have ever imagined as just some isolated Zuni native.  And in the same instant, José had so naturally demonstrated for Manuél that innate goodness exists in all of mankind, despite the likelihood of their often geographic and cultural segregation or isolation from one another.  Manuél suggested to both José and Raquel that even within his own of thought-to-be superior culture, most poor souls simply chose to remain in their own contrived state of blissful ignorance.  Manuél confessed that only his own personal and social privilege had usually afforded him such an overwhelming and unlimited opportunity to be fully exposed to all sorts of liberating knowledge.  Manuél would repeatedly state how eternally grateful he was to have had these two exceptional beings enter his life and to experience so much that gives real and greater meaning to our otherwise often meager existence in this miraculous Garden of Eden.  And it was first Manuél’s intuitive perception that this diverse Garden of Eden should not be possessed or dominated by any one nation or group of people, much less one single individual, whether that domination is temporal or spiritual in nature. 

Perhaps the most revealing revelation for Manuél was the discovered reality that there was absolutely no discernable innate differences between a man and woman, and it was Raquel’s recondite presence and personal strength, both intellectually and physically, that dramatically demonstrated this newly acquired reality for Manuél.  Manuél had been raised in a traditionally patriarchal culture that had, in its most usual fashion, over-emphasized the unfounded superiority of the male.  Manuél was repeatedly and always impressed with the immense presence of Raquel’s innate intellect as well as her almost infinite potential for the profound expressions of deeply passionate issues.  Raquel, in her own traditionally stoic manner, represented the ultimate antithesis of what Manuél had once held to be the given inferior state of woman, and to the humble credit of Raquel, she never once considered or assumed herself as a superior individual in any fashion.  Raquel simply felt that she was a most fortunate individual to have been given the opportunity to manifest her own spiritual and intellectual potentialities without any limitations or social constraints. But paramount to all of this was the sincerely high degree of esteem and genuine appreciation that was so consistently and lovingly displayed by José for his life’s most unusual and certainly closest companion. 

There was one special and repeated occurrence that would often eclipse the wonderment that these three exceptional souls held for each other’s constant presence.  It became almost a closing ritual for the three of them at the end of their numerous exchanges, which often extended late into the darkness of night, to simply lie on the ground like intrigued little children and stare off into the infinite space of those dark heavens.  None of them had even the slightest conception of what actually existed beyond their immediate environment and into that dark abyss that appeared to have no outer boundaries.  These shared quiet moments were amongst the most humbling of all, and they reminded all three of them that this amazing and strangely unknown universe was infinitely greater than most men would ever admit to or perhaps be capable of ever actually conceiving in one’s unassuming lifetime. 

As the days passed and grew colder into the winter months, these three grew ever closer and closer, and when the three were assembled, they displayed a spiritual radiance that must have assuredly immerged from somewhere deep within each of their individual mortal beings.  The only lamenting that any of them had ever verbally shared or expressed was that others outside their tightly-knit circle could not share in that unique joy that they had found in each other’s love for one another.

As spring approached, Raquel was even more anxious to explore the surrounding nearby countryside in hopes of discovering some new medicinal plants as well as checking up on the state of previously discovered patches of perennial herbs.  This vast knowledge of these ·awitelin citta’s (Earth Mother’s) healing plants had taken generations of discovery on the parts of so many different Medicine Men, and it was the expectation of each of these contributors to the whole that they would each discover and add at least one or more new herbs to this astonishing collective.  Raquel was certainly no exception.  She also enjoyed just being alone at those specially appreciated times, just to ponder the ever-growing wonderment of her own rewarding life and the unique relationship that she had come to share with these two exceptionally loving men.  She considered her rather curious circumstances a gifted blessing that more than compensated for her lack of becoming a mother, as well as countless other natural imbued privileges and expectations of being a woman.

It was sometime in the early spring of 1821 that Raquel ventured to the east and slightly south of their modest adobe dwelling to the top of an expansive horseshoe shaped ridge.  Raquel, in her search of new herbs, was following atop this horseshoe ridge in an easterly direction to where it began to then gently curve towards a southerly direction, and at the same time the elevation was gradually descending.  It was just about midway along this southeasterly downhill curve of the ridge that Raquel had come upon a most unusual formation that was conveniently shaded from the mid-afternoon western sun by an old Piñon tree growing out of the boulder infested ridge.  This rock formation, or partially decimated boulder as it may have been, was like a giant flat table that jetted out from the earth in a western direction, leaving at least a third of itself noticeably exposed with no visible under support.  The rather flattened but uneven top of this rock had a noticeable indentation in its center that had been noticeably darkened by the obvious collection and standing of rainwaters from the otherwise infrequent precipitation of the area.  There was also some visible evidence that some small animal, probably a ground squirrel, had made use of the flattened rock as its own private dining area.  There were some messy remnants of a dried red pear from a cactus along with a totally butchered seedpod from an indigenous yucca, both of which were quite common to the area.  Raquel quickly imagined that small animals probably frequented this natural creation if only to have taken advantage of those collected rainwaters when they might have otherwise been unavailable.

The initial encounter with this unusual rock formation quickly became a numinous, spiritual, and certainly personally enhancing experience for Raquel, and she almost immediately and without any added cognitive thought process christened this slab of granite protruding from the earth as Medicine Rock.  Raquel sat erect upon this newly discovered rock with her legs crossed in a meditative position, and did so in a natural and familiar manner, facing the mid-afternoon western sky.  Her eyes almost immediately followed the outline of the Sandia Mountains to a point that she imagined was the probable actual location of that very special place known to José and her as the Zuni šipa·puli·ma.  Raquel remained seated on this unusual rock until the sun had fallen just behind the crest of the mountain just south of that sacred spot.  She then hurried to her modest abode, anxiously hoping to share her new discovery with José.  It was as exciting as that of possibly discovering a new herb.  She was so excited to have encountered what she had perceived as a sacred place and was equally confident that this otherwise mystical occurrence was just one more of those special events on their shared journey leading to and affirming the discovery of the Zuni’s most sacred šipa·puli·ma.

Raquel’s hurried and timely return to their adobe was doubly rewarding because she was able to share this fortuitous discovery with Manuél as well.  This sharing led into another of those more philosophical exchanges between the three, the essence of what was the part that “fate” plays in any of our lives, “the manner in which we most often deal with the discovery and the acceptance of new things and ideas can be a true measure of man’s innate divine nature.” 

All three of them agreed that it was this divine nature that resided within Raquel’s own being that was actually the spiritually experienced nature of this mysterious Medicine Rock and not some innate characteristic or quality of the rock itself.  The rock was blessed and made holy by Raquel’s own intuitive and spontaneous christening as well as the naturally impulsive assignment of an appropriate name and meaning, most particularly to one who is so spiritual and on a path to becoming a healer.  The reality of the rock’s presence and its perceived uniqueness could have remained eternally anonymous and certainly insignificant without its chance discovery by one who is so spiritually inclined.  In all of this, Raquel, José, and Manuél came to the mutual realization that it was the very best part of the innate and inner nature of man that had also more likely imbued our mythological gods with their mysterious and mystical powers.  Manuél tactfully offered the suggestion that perhaps it was our gods that were actually made to resemble the better parts of man’s noble nature, rather than that commonly decreed postulate of the Christian faith that so authoritatively suggests that “man is made in the image of God.” 

Raquel was anxious to share this new discovery with her two friends and insisted that Manuél remain there that night so that the three of them could visit Medicine Rock together early the next morning.  She confessed to them that part of her wanting to return so immediately to this special rock was that, in her great excitement, she had inadvertently left behind a small store of herbs that she had gathered earlier that day.  Manuél accepted the encouraging offer, and as usual, the three of them spent their last minutes before retiring just gazing up at the endless night sky in total wonderment.  The last words spoken were from José’s lips, and he simply and humbly uttered, “Perhaps it is man himself and not some ghastly god who has actually imbued these marvelous heavens with the majesty of their extraordinary grandeur.  Just a fleeting thought!

As the spring seemed to have all to quickly passed and the summer was seemingly short, Manuél had far less time to get away from his increasing duties at the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri.  It was in this same year that Mexico had finally gained its independence from Spain, and as a result, many of the Spanish Franciscans that had once so dominated the Roman Catholic Church’s austere presence in this desert territory lost their once strong grip on the church’s politics.  This deliberate and political purging of the Spanish Franciscans serendipitously opened the door for Father Manuél’s further advancement, and being of the more intellectually respected Jesuit persuasion with a French linage, he was immediately asked to assume the role of the sole pastor at the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri. 

The ensuing 25 years following this break from Spain became known as the “Mexican period.”  Even though the previous acts of ethnic and religious oppression were often with the restrained blessings of the Franciscan priests (wherein so many of the Pueblo Indians were totally castrated of their own indigenous beliefs), the Mexican period did not readily provide relief to that already established and entrenched state of religious slavery and oppression that had consistently been the sole mission of the Roman Catholic Church.  By any other name or designation, the overwhelming principal theme of the Catholic Church remained quite the same whether it was marketed as Franciscan (Spanish style) or that of the more intellectual Jesuits. That ominous bit of contrived theology was always summed up in just one chilling word: OBEDIENCE.

Even with the added responsibilities of the church that now fell squarely on the broad shoulders of Manuél, the three courageous soldiers of freedom and seekers of truth continued to share in their ongoing discovery of new and old ideas, and the world around them, with the hoped-for promise of a new perspective.  Over the next three years, José read almost every book that Manuél had acquired for his personal library.  This not only expanded and enhanced José’s English and Spanish vocabulary, it provided him with vast stores of new, challenging, and exciting ideas that continually changed his own view of the world.  José would frequently read many of these books aloud so that Raquel could share in the further exploration of this New World, and when the three were together they would often engage in lively discussions that were rightly fueled by whatever José was reading.  Just when the three would think that they had read just about all there was, there would come word that another caravan of trade wagons had arrived from St. Louis through Kansas City over the newly established Santa Fe Trail conveniently ending in Santa Fe, and that often meant that there was another special delivery for Manuél.  A small packages of two to four books would usually be left at the Cathedral of Saint Francis in Santa Fe and eventually find their way to Father Manuel Ortiz in care of the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri.

It was in 1821, when Missouri was admitted as a state, that William Becknell first established this “foreign” trade route known as “the Santa Fe Trail.”  Being that this was also the beginning of the 25-year Mexican rule of this southwestern territory, the route was established primarily to further the commercial trade between this most northern providence of Mexico and the United States.  This Santa Fe Trail was unlike that of the Oregon and California trails in that they were established some 20 years prior and served mostly the rather steady immigrant movement of pioneers headed for the Pacific coast. 

While Manuél had been a young seminarian student in St. Louis, he had fortuitously developed a particularly close relationship with one of the Jesuit priests, who had acquired a particular fascination with Manuél’s uniquely inquisitive and rather liberal intellect.  This Father François was constantly on the lookout for any westward bound pioneers or merchants that were headed for Santa Fe or the village of Albuquerque, and would often elicit them to make occasional deliveries to Father Manuél in care of the Cathedral of Saint Francis in Santa Fe.  There is no telling how many additional books may have been lost en route for countless untold reasons, as Father François was probably just too trusting under the circumstances.  These trail masters weren’t always reliable even if they were generously tipped, and there was no established mail service to this foreign territory at that time in history.  More often than not there would be an enclosed note with the books that gratefully acknowledged the receipt of letters from Manuél.  Manuél, would on every occasion of books being delivered, attempt to send a letter in return, usually via some returning guide that had led a party of merchants or traders to this Spanish territory, probably along this same Santa Fe Trail.  St. Louis, along with Kansas City, became the most popular departing points for most of the western-bound travelers—these gateways to the west were also the entry points for so much of the imported silver that originated from many mines situated throughout Mexico.

Manuél, in the late winter of 1823, took a brief leave of absence from his church duties and took José with him to visit St. Louis and to personally introduce José to this infamous Father François.  When the two finally reached their destination, Father François was noticeably beside himself to have had these two “younger” men visit him so unexpectedly, and the three of them almost immediately commenced to spend the better part of the three week stay just immersing themselves in each other’s vast intellectual and spiritual reservoirs. 

Father François had, since his initial arrival in St. Louis from France, fortuitously established a number of academic associates that would continually supply him with all sorts of currently published books as well as the English translations of many of the European classics.  These mostly academic contacts were from both his own home in France and a number of other locations throughout the eastern United States.  Among the most intriguing and newly acquired books for Father François was a recently translated volume of Nicolò Machiavelli’s The Prince, originally written about 1513, and the rather limited writings of Marcus Aurelius sometime in the 2^nd Century, most notably, Meditations.  Most fascinating to the rather endlessly inquisitive minds of these intellectual clergymen were some of the published writings of such controversial scientists as Galileo Galilei (1564-1642), Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727), and Christiaan Huygens (1629-1695).  All three of these notably distinguished scientists contributed revolutionary theories that seriously challenged both the papal authority of that time and the all-encompassing, and until then, unchallenged biblical mythology that had historically been forcefully propagated by the Roman Catholic Church as the absolute truth.  In one profound manner or another, these three exceptionally gifted scientists had explored those vast heavens above and declared with certainty that our little planet was, after all, not that imagined center of this cosmic and infinite universe as had originally been so erroneously postulated in the Book of Genesis. 

José shared with these two priests the Zuni beliefs that their own known world was also considered to be the center of their known universe, not too unlike those primitive and archaic beliefs of our own naive forefathers of Western civilization.  Manuél suggested to his two friends that perhaps many of the other long-held and unchallenged traditions of the Catholic Church might equally fall to the wayside as other new discoveries were revealed.  It was equally intriguing to these three progressive thinkers to consider just how these challenging physical sciences might ultimately affect the entirety of the religious and social order of all of mankind.  After all, most of what men had previously held to be the truth of their very existence was usually explained by religious priests, whose authority was rarely ever questioned by the masses.  Father François enthusiastically shared with his two liberal friends the most recent communications emanating from Rome, which amusingly reported that the leadership of the Church was seriously considering that all future decrees of the Pope be taken by all as the absolute and infallible word of God.  “We, the Pope and God do declare and/or decree that….” François further suggested that this newly contrived concept of the infallibility of the Pope, and this rather drastic redirection in the papal authority, was apparently seen by many of these scientifically threatened clerics in Rome as something absolutely necessary in light of the fact that so many of the recent discoveries and resultant scientific theories had so authoritatively and dramatically undermined the traditional theology and beliefs of the Church.

Manuél and José left St. Louis with a number of newly arrived books graciously given to them by François and a renewed fervor for seeking and discovering the truth that was and had always been all around them.  It was on the occasion of that first night of the return journey that José and Manuél gazed at the night sky in their usual manner, but with newly enlightened eyes.  There passed between them almost no words as they both silently pondered the majesty of the heavenly bodies, and the in the depth of their mutually diverse universes, José quietly lamented to Manuél the most noticeable absence of their dearest friend, Raquel, and wished that she could have been present to have shared what the two of them had just learned from François.  Those heavens now possessed a new and certainly more profound meaning.  The challenge was going to be their ability to share all of this newly discovered reality with Raquel, but of course, there was no question that this most unusual Zuni woman would be able to eventually grasp almost anything that her two intellectual friends might have to offer.

It was on this particular occasion of this return journey from St. Louis that Father Manuél lovingly suggested to José that he might wish to become more actively involved with the Catholic Church.  José made it quite clear to Manuél that even though he was unequivocally fond of him personally, and most appreciative of his personal warmth and thoughtful friendship for a multitude of reasons, he simply had no interest in becoming a Catholic--not that this was at all what Manuél was actually suggesting to José.  Manuél, after offering some clarification of what he was actually seeking from finally persuaded José on the compelling and well-founded grounds of incorporating José’s unique skills in ministering to the various Pueblo Indians--sort of serving as an unofficial ambassador of the Catholic Church.

In the following spring of 1824, Manuél, in his authoritative capacity as the sole pastor of the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri, appointed José to the position of a deacon of the Church.  It was most naturally José’s duties to attend to the special needs of the different Pueblo Indians that would often frequent the Church in Albuquerque and to conscientiously assist the pastors of some of the outlying churches that were strategically located in the various pueblos. 

In the spirit of fair play and exchange, José solicited Manuél’s personal assurance that he would willingly join him in a missionary venture to Mexico City sometime in the not too far future.  This special request bore the pregnant hope that some day these two unusual crusaders would make an earnest attempt to persuade the governing body of the Mexican Catholic Church to restore at least some portion of the indigenous people’s own religious traditions that had been so wrongly usurped.  Of course Father Manuél was more than agreeable with this most rational and certainly reasonable condition, and since Manuél had himself acquired an unyielding and ever-increasing respect for many of the Pueblo Indians and their extraordinary religious beliefs, he was equally anxious to encourage some needed changes in the Church’s conservative policies as they pertained to the Pueblos.  There was little question that José’s own unselfish contributions and unabashed commitment to this unique, unusually intense, and mutually rewarding relationship, went a long way to cement Manuél’s own personal resolve to protect these challenged and often compromised rights of the Pueblo people that had been totally ignored in the ominous name of that Christian God as well as that Holy Catholic Church.

That winter Raquel of her 26^th year, she began what was to become her lifelong calling.  With the onset of the cold season there was an unusually early snowfall, and travel on the east side of the Sandia Mountains was rendered most difficult.  There was a Spanish woman living in the nearby village of Tijeras that was expecting a child at any given moment and was sadly unable to obtain the services of her usual midwife.  This woman had previously met José and Raquel at the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri on several special occasions and was aware of their supposed healing skills.  Knowing that the trip to or from the village of Albuquerque would be treacherous under these winter-storm conditions, the woman asked her husband to summon Raquel in the hopes that she would be able to assist in the delivery of their child.  The husband succeeded, since the little adobe wasn’t more than a few kilometers away.

Raquel was more than willing and actually excited to accommodate the needs of this Spanish woman, and with no apparent complications, helped facilitate the successful delivery of a healthy boy.  Raquel remained at the woman's home for several additional days following and assisted this kind woman with her other three young children while this mother was recovering from labor.  This more than grateful woman not only discovered that Raquel was qualified as a caring midwife, but most sensitive to the basic needs of her other young children.  As a result of this first successful experience, and certainly with the rapid spreading of the word by this most grateful woman, others living on the east side of the Sandia Mountains soon engaged Raquel for her newly discovered skills and domestic services.  Most of the families seeking were from the villages of Cañoncito, San Antonito, and Golden, all rather close to her little adobe on the east side of the Sandia Mountains.

That brutal winter of 1824 had to have been the busiest winter for all three of our courageous souls.  As pastor of the church in Albuquerque, Manuél was inundated with all sorts of demands from every quadrant.  Most notable amongst these demands was the constant and annoying reminders arriving from Mexico City, stating that it was imperative that the Pueblo Indians fully submit to the Catholic religion with the total exclusion of any of their “primitive pagan rites.”  There were constant requests for reports stating the progress of the Church in these matters of religious conversions.  This was a most difficult task for Manuél since he was intimately aware that the unwanted presence and spiritual nuisance of the Catholic Church did not necessarily enhance the lives of these beautiful people.  Manuél would share his constant and unresolved disgust and frustrations with José, and they would both often find themselves driven to tears.

Raquel was as equally concerned as José, and this subject of the unabashed religious conversion of the Pueblo Indians often dominated those sessions in which José was attempting to further the instructions necessary to eventually be fully initiated ·ona· ya·naka ·a·šiwani, “priests of the completed path,” who alone possessed the knowledge of the healing herbs and their proper application.  José would stress the importance of establishing an intimate and trusting relationship between a Zuni Medicine Man and the recipients of his healing powers.  Most importantly, José emphasized the fact that the Medicine Man could never maintain any harsh judgments against his patients at any time, as this would inevitably interfere with the success of any natural healing process.  José would repeatedly state that the healing of the body could only be successfully achieved in the presence of a loving heart and a healthy mind that was totally free of any form of judgment.  Manuél was amazed at just how similar this understanding was to the profound teachings of Jesus, in that Jesus would minister to every strata and station of mankind without any judgment or prejudice.

           
                  Sacred Offerings  
             

 It was during the very first days of spring, on a Monday, that Manuél showed up at the medicine adobe for what he thought was going to be his last instruction before his initiation as a Medicine Man in the Zuni tradition.  As it turned out, José had already completed to his own satisfaction everything that he had intended to teach these two apprentices, and the only thing on this evening's agenda, in the mind of José, was a specially prepared meal that he had requested of Raquel.  As though Manuél had some sixth sense, he had brought two liters of wine thinking that they would possibly celebrate after the completion of their last lesson.

It was an especially festive occasion, and as usual these three intellectuals commenced on another of those wild intellectual explorations into that endless abyss, hoping to find and secure another previously unfound truth.  Raquel most innocently initiated this particular exchange by asking Manuél whether there had ever been a woman who was ordained as a priest.  Manuél passionately expressed his more than heartfelt regrets that his Roman Catholic Church had never recognized woman as equal to man because their Christian God was historically perceived in the masculine, and after all, created man first and then supposedly created woman from a rib of that first man.  Mythologies certainly have their lasting effects on mankind, or are mythologies created after the fact to fit what will best serve to maintain the establishment?

Manuél suggested that the western mythology of creation as reported in their Bible saw man as being created in the image of God, the masculine, and that woman was only created as that afterthought from one of man’s ribs and specifically designed, according to God’s own sacred words, to serve man only as his consummate help-mate.  José shared that the Zuni view of their own social order and the rightful place of a woman was not too far removed from this same perspective, and that women were only expected to perform essential domestic duties and demonstrate their willingness to lovingly bear the next generation of Zuni children.  These two exceptionally confident men, having encountered their intellectual equal in the body of a woman, were especially and favorably taken with Raquel's more than appropriate inquiry.  Under the unusual circumstances in which this particularly more than capable woman was about to grace the here-to-fore all-male membership of a Zuni curing society, Manuél was hard-pressed for an adequate answer that was more than just some trite social justification.

Both José and Manuél came to very much the same conclusions that women were probably denied an equal position in society principally because they were by necessity preoccupied with the birth and rearing of children.  What an easy copout, even though it may have held the most logical explanations!  Raquel’s experiences as a midwife and the caretaker of others’ young children certainly supported this particular role of women in society, but all three agreed that this manifested fate very possibly cheated many more gifted women of their greater potential.  Raquel never possessed the feelings that she was better than any of the other Zuni women, only that she had been given a life that was unusually blessed with exceptional opportunities.

Raquel also recognized that her own particular situation was probably the direct result of the unusual and certainly unique personal circumstances involving her family as well as José’s family, particularly his infamous father, Popé.  It was at this point in the conversation that Raquel then disclosed to Manuél the fact that she and José actually shared the same natural father.  It was in the context of this rather intimate disclosure that Raquel and José both explained that in the Zuni culture there was no such notion as an illegitimate child.  There had always been tribal traditions that dictated that one should not ever marry within one's own ·annoti·we, tribal clan, which served as an internal and natural safeguard against any un-fortuitous instances of incest, but this safeguard against incest carried with it no infidelity prohibitions.

Manuél had often wondered why this rather vital appearing couple never had any children of their own, and now he understood for the first time.  Raquel expressed to her two friends that she had no lingering regrets about the absence of any children of her own as well as the nonexistence of an actual hom tačču (husband) in her life, and added that she really felt quite exceptionally blessed to have had the opportunity to grow both intellectually and spiritually with her two friends--an opportunity that she had confidently expressed would have never likely availed her had she taken a more traditional path in life.  This was a subject that José and Raquel never had fully discussed since moving to the east side of these sacred Sandia Mountains, and José was particularly relieved and pleased to learn that Raquel was so utterly content with her life of abstinence as well as the unusual relationship that they had so lovingly shared, not only together but with their dear friend, Manuél.

As the evening progressed and the sky was filling with those ever-shimmering stars, the two bottles of Spanish wine slowly disappeared, leaving behind only the light-headed effects and mutually shared state of soothing tranquility.  These three serene souls assumed their usual nocturnal position, lying on their backs and endlessly gazing into those mysteriously infinite heavens.  Manuél softly questioned, “I wonder if there really is a heaven up there somewhere, and will I even be so fortunate to see it?”  José suggested that there was no heaven to be found, and that after one dies, the spirit simply returns to the nadir of this beautiful ·awitelin citta, Earth Mother, by way of those most sacred telaššina·we, those sacred old places and shrines of the world.  And speaking of the telaššina·we, José then announced that it was his intention that the forthcoming initiation would take place at that sacred spring at the top of the mountain where that great Bear often drinks of those blessed waters.  It was agreed that this special ceremony would take place the following week, and that the three would probably spend the night on the mountain following the initiation, as returning in the darkness of night would certainly be most hazardous and there was no need to put anyone at risk, José added in a joking and sensitive manner “We need to be careful since we will have with us such a delicate woman whose stamina may not match that of a man!”  Raquel then immediately retorted, “I’d like to watch you in the act of delivering a newborn and then deal with all the mess.  You Zuni and Spanish men never seem to have to do anything of any real consequence except possibly expound on that buck that got away!”  With the scheduling of the initiation having been worked out, Raquel retreated within the walls of their adobe dwelling while José and Manuél remained outside under the stars and soon fell fast asleep, with José’s head resting gently on Manuél’s abdomen.

The ensuing week passed quickly; Raquel prepared her garden and even planted a few seeds saved from last year’s harvest; José was extremely busy at the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri with all sorts of spring related chores that had naturally piled up over the winter months; and Manuél was totally engulfed in the preparation of some nuptial services to be performed that coming Saturday.  With the busy schedule and the week having passed in such a flash, it was soon Monday.

Manuél left the church very early that morning, even before the sun had risen, and rode on a horse that was lent to him by a good friend.  When he had arrived, his two Zuni friends were already prepared and waiting to depart for the sacred mountaintop.  They left immediately on foot with no words initially spoken.  There was a somber atmosphere in the air, and the cool spring morning was pregnant with the anticipation of an unforgettable evening of spiritual sharing and confirmation.  Even with their lingering and peaceful pace, they were able to reach the sacred site of the telaššina·we spring by late that afternoon.

Upon arrival, José instructed the two excited and soon-to-be initiates to gather some firewood and build a small fire.  The early spring evenings were still rather cool and this particular area was dense with trees, which naturally kept the ground from absorbing much needed heat from the sun.  All of this, along with the evaporation of the water from the adjacent spring and stream, only added to what was already a rapidly cooling evening.  Raquel had prepared some food for the threesome, and it was agreed that they would eat before beginning the anticipated ceremony of initiation.

The sun had just set as they finished their rather light meal, and José asked that the two be seated opposite him with the small fire still brightly burning between them.  The Medicine Man took a small package from his pack, laid out the various contents before him on a portion of his blanket, and with an authoritative tone that these two initiates had never heard uttered from his lips before, José commanded that the spirit of the great Bear be present and bear full witness to this ritual of passage into the company of ·ona· ya·naka ·a·šiwani, priests of the completed path who alone possess healing herbs.  This observable transformation of José’s whole demeanor had certainly captivated both of the initiates, and the character of the entire evening was then so fixated that none of them even noticed the rather sharp drop in the evening’s already cool temperature.  José proceeded to explain that what was about to take place was not going to be some induced and magical transformation, but instead a loving confirmation of what these two exceptional and loving initiates had already demonstrated by the very manner in which both of them had always lived their lives.  “No man or woman can be magically transformed into a Zuni Medicine Man by any known power who has not already demonstrated the spiritual and loving qualities that are so integral to the whole process of bringing peace, order, and love into the life of another human.  Both of you have already dedicated your lives to the spiritual, as well as the physical, health of others, beyond what is ever expected of any man or woman.”  José expressly stated that this was a most joyous celebration of recognition, and that the specific items that were to be gifted to each new initiate were only a symbolic representation of those most essential elements or qualities of character that are so necessary for a balanced life of love and giving; sometimes a life of sacrifice for the benefit of others.

José addressed Raquel first, and reflected on the tender care that she had given her garden each year.  “Raquel, the first quality that you usually show is your keen sense and utter awareness of proper timing.  You appear to intuitively know just when it's the appropriate time to prepare the ground--that bit of selected earth that contains those basic elements that are so necessary for healthy growth.  You select an area that is close to water, away from towering trees, and with a good exposure to the life-giving sun, all of which are essential to a healthy plant.  You plant only those selected seeds that are most apt to flourish in your garden and that will provide the required substance for yourself as well as those you love.  You perform all these tasks in a most loving manner and with a heart that is rightfully overjoyed by the creation of new life, whether it be the harvests from your garden or the miraculous birth of a new child.  You show as much respect for the mothers of the children as you show for our beloved ·awitelin citta, Earth Mother.”

Having said this, José picked up a small piece of stone that he had taken from the vicinity of Medicine Rock and asked Raquel to place it in her medicine bag.  Raquel removed her medicine bag and placed that bit of stone in the bag that had already contained that small glass vial that had originally come from Manuél.  José then explained that this piece of stone represented that basic desire for an abundant life, and that with its specific elements employed, this raw and otherwise lifeless matter is mysteriously combined with the gifts of water and the warm light from yatokka tačču, the Sun Father, and transformed into those wonderful life-giving substances likened to the very fruits and vegetables of Raquel’s garden.  “Always remember that your love is as powerful as any bit of blessed stone.”

José then turned to Manuél and with the warmest and most heartfelt feelings said, “I have something very special that I wish to now present to you.”  Just before José and Raquel had first departed Zuñi, José had received several special items from Popé, his father, which had belonged to his paternal grandfather, Naiyutchi, that greatest of Zuni Medicine Men.  Amongst these blessed items was a leather pouch in which Naiyutchi would routinely store some of his medicinal herbs.  José had taken a significant piece of this leather pouch and crafted a medicine bag for Manuél.  He had actually crafted this medicine bag about six months before the time of this initiation, and from the time of its initial creation José wore the bag about his own neck alongside his own medicine bag.  José got up from where he was sitting and slowly approached Manuél.  He removed the medicine bag from around his own neck and approached Manuél, who stood up.  Standing there ever so close, and in a soulful tone, José said, “I'm offering this special gift to you because it is part of my past and who I have become.  Because you have shown so much love for my people and for me as well, you have become in spirit my true brother.  And therefore I wish to share with you the roots of my past and all that I have now and will ever become.”  José then placed the medicine bag around Manuél’s neck, embracing him with such caring tenderness.  Manuél could easily observe tears in José’s eyes reflected in the flickering of the fire as José had first approached, and this largely tender show of such genuine and true emotion brought tears to Manuél’s eyes as well.  They remained embraced, motionless for a brief moment, and then José returned to his own blanket and sat once again in front of the fire.

After a brief period of silence José picked up another piece of stone that had come from the site of Medicine Rock.  He offered the piece of stone to Manuél, asking him to place the stone in his medicine bag.  Manuél reached for the stone, accepted it, and placed this bit of blessed rock in his medicine bag without having to remove it from around his neck.  While this piece of rock was finding its permanent resting place, José reminded Manuél that this stone represented those most basic elements necessary for all of life.

After a pause, José picked up two small bundles of dried herbs and held them silently for a few moments, one bundle clinched in each of his hands.  These little bundles of herbs were tied with narrow strips of leather that came from the same source from which Manuél’s medicine bag had been lovingly crafted.  “These herbs are a special gift from ·awitelin citta, Earth Mother, and they have been nourished with the sacred waters that flow from the telaššina·we.  They have also been generously imbued with the loving warmth of yatokka tačču (Sun Father) and are given into your loving care this very special night with the full blessings of ya·onakka citta (Moonlight-Giving Mother).”

José explained to the two initiates that there existed no power on earth that they could have employed in order to achieve the full status of a ·ona· ya·naka ·a·šiwani, priest of the completed path, who alone possess the full knowledge of the healing herbs.  It is a revered position that comes only to one who already possesses those unique qualities necessary to perform the Zuni healing arts of a Medicine Man.  And it was just one of the many consequences of José’s performance of these particular initiations on a mountaintop, so close to the heavens and adjacent to the sacred telaššina·we of the Sandia Mountains, that José himself became that most exalted and empowered pošaya·nk·I, a bow priest, who heads the priests of the completed path.  Because José and Raquel had been so mysteriously led to and discovered this most sacred spring atop the Sandia Mountains, and because this blessed site was truly the prophetic site of Zuni’s beloved šipa·puli·ma, José also became the great ·akw·a mossi, the medicine chief of the curing societies of šipa·puli·ma.  To José’s knowledge, there existed no other Zuni Medicine Man that had ever achieved the exalted position of ·akw·a mossi, a most time-honored and spiritually valued position that until that very moment was only known to the Zuni in myth.

As José began to fully realize that this initiation was his own entry into a spiritual state of grace, he retreated into a meditative state and remained there, silent for just a brief moment.  Then José broke the deadening silence by sharing with his two initiates his own profound insights of what had just transpired within the depths of his own inner consciousness.  And with this revelation of his own empowerment, José went on to reiterate that in his newly-acquired position as ·akw·a mossi, he was not there to bestow the status of ·ona· ya·naka  ·a·šiwani on either of them, but only to recognize what they had already achieved by living the life of one who persistently demonstrated a true love of mankind.  José spoke his words of insight with a new radiance that seemed to have penetrated his entire being, and he then proclaimed with a resolved authority, “I, Kiasiwa, the ·akw·a mossi, do affirm that these two initiates possess all the qualities of a deserving and knowledgeable ·ona· ya·naka  ·a·šiwani and are thus qualified to continue with their induction into the ·ona· ya·naka   tika·we (the Society of the Completed Path) with my full blessing and heart-felt support.”  Within just a few minutes, José fell into another deep, silent trance.

While José remained silently meditating, Manuél placed some additional wood on the weakening fire.  As the new wood ignited it flickered brightly, awakening José from his meditative trance.  Opening his eyes to the flickering fire, José picked up two downy feathers that he began to explain had come from the under-wings of a Red-tailed Hawk.  “These feathers represent the soaring thoughts and spiritual ideals that we have shared these past few years.  They come from a majestic feathered friend of high flight that often soars towards the heavens in a manner that man cannot achieve except in his spirit.  Herein lie those lofty hopes that we may never achieve except in thought, the dreams that we dare to dream and the realization that without our hopes and dreams there's no true meaning to this life.  Take these feathers and gently place them in your medicine bags.  Be careful not to place your dreams and hopes in the bag with those feathers lest they be eternally hidden and thus forgotten.

Because these Red-tailed Hawk’s feathers were so light, Manuél was required to push his own feather into his medicine bag ever so gently with his forefinger, and in performing this act Manuél discovered an unexpected object.  Manuél retrieved this metallic article from his medicine bag only to have discovered that it was a gold cross.  José knowingly observed Manuél’s astonished discovery and then affectionately explained to him, “I have learned from you in these past few years just how much you love this man called Jesus.  You have taught me that the cross is a symbol of this man’s life and ultimate sacrifice.  You have shared with me the wisdom of this great teacher and healer who may have lived even before my Zuni forefathers.  What you have learned and then so lovingly shared with me is that this man Jesus lived his own brief and interrupted life on this earth entirely for the benefit and salvation of others, and Jesus only demanded of his brethren that they live their own lives according to his one and only great commandment: Love your neighbor as you love yourself.  I don't believe this man to be a God, as so many of your faithful Christian brethren believe so emphatically, but I do fully understand what this man had probably truly meant when he had first said, If you have known me, you have known God.  Manuél, I have come to know you so well, and the loving compassion you possess for everyone with whom you come in contact.  You are not unlike that man Jesus that you so love.  To my limited and simple understanding as an uneducated and humble Zuni Medicine Man, this ability to love unconditionally is the only truly divine quality of a God.  Therefore, my knowing you and coming to love you as I do has taught me that your God does not exist as your religion often teaches.  Manuél, to me, you are God, I am God, Raquel is God, and every person that sincerely attempts to live that life of loving his neighbor has the full potential of being God.  I and the Father are as one.  This is what I have read in your Bible, and I believe it is a truly rational statement from the lips of your beloved Jesus to be taken literally by any man or woman that so chooses, but with the profound understanding that Jesus did not intend to convey that he was a God apart from his people, but that anyone who loves his neighbors as he relentlessly demonstrated was equally worthy of being in that state of divine grace.  I believe that these profound words are too often lost on deadened or ignorant ears, and most sadly of all, people are probably intentionally mislead by false doctrines.  If this ever so reflective statement of your Jesus was truly and fully understood, then these powerful words would have surely freed your Christian brethren from the spiritual enslavement that they have persistently endured since that very time when your Jesus actually lived as a man.  The real evidence of all of this, as we have already shared so many times, is the manner in which your Christian brothers have so endlessly and mercilessly slain so many indigenous people.  In any case, I placed this golden cross in your medicine bag especially for you because its true meaning, as I have just explained in the words of your own Jesus, is your most powerful medicine that you posses to this point in your life.  There is nothing on earth more powerful than love, and no one taught the law and meaning of love more powerfully and with such conviction as that of your beloved Jesus.  He not only taught love, he lived it throughout his life.”  José then asked Manuél to put the cross back in his bag.

José then picked up two small, clear crystals that he had retrieved from the stream that was created and fed with the sacred waters that flowed from the telaššina·we atop the Sandia Mountain.  “These tiny crystals are clear just like the waters from which they came.  Water is not only necessary for life, it purifies and cleanses us of the multitude of impurities that are too often creations of man.  I want you to drink from this sacred spring so that your bodies might be purified and to place these crystals in your medicine bags where they will serve to purify not only your medicine but your every thought.”  Having said this with such conviction, José took his own drinking cup, filled it only partially with water from the sacred spring, dropped the two crystals in the cup and then passed the cup to Raquel and Manuél to drink.  When Raquel and Manuél had finished drinking the water, José asked them to retrieve the two crystals and place them in their medicine bags as a symbol of the sacred and cleaning water of this telaššina·we.

José resumed his original posture with his legs crossed in front of their still glowing fire and, from amongst those remaining items that he had initially placed in front him, he retrieved two dark items and held one in each hand.  “These are two claws from the front right paw of the ·anše (Bear), and I am offering them for your medicine bag because I belong to ·anše·kwe (the Bear clan).  The Bear does not only represent the healer, he is an important symbol of divine strength; he will lead you to sacred waters when you most thirst, and the Bear will faithfully provide for you the very power to always do that which is right and just, not only in your own eyes, but the watchful eyes of the world--even that invisible world!  His claws are infinitely strong and they retain their unusual strength and power even beyond his physical death, and therefore I offer these sacred tokens to remind both of you to always maintain your courage, to tell the truth and to perform all of your meaningful tasks in the precise manner of a true ·ona· ya·naka  ·a·šiwani (priest of the completed path).”  José then asked Raquel and Manuél to open their medicine bags, and as the wema· ·a·šiwani (a beast priest) representing the great Bear of the west, José personally placed these two claws in each of their bags to offer these initiates this reminder of maintaining their inner-strength--a very special and singular message from the powerful ·anše.

After a brief pause José picked up two thin objects from amongst the few remaining items.  “These are two very sharp and treacherous thorns that come from the mountain locust tree.  They are intentionally designed to protect the tree from any harm, and they are aided in the dutiful performance of their protective qualities by the fact that they are often successfully concealed by the presence of so many delicate leaves.  I'm offering the power of these sharp thorns to protect you and your medicine from forces that you may not be aware of.  As the leaves of the locust tree often conceal their protective power, they will be justly concealed in your medicine bag and will offer their vigilant protection against any harm.”   José carefully handed these two locust thorns to Raquel and Manuél, asking them to take special care in placing them in their medicine bags.  “I hope that they will never have the occasion to stick either of you.  If that should ever happen, take notice of their warning of potential harm.”

There were only two small items remaining, and José, after another short pause, took these two small items into his hands and proclaimed, “These are the rich seeds taken from the productive Piñon.  I have chosen these particular seeds to represent the promise of a future, a future that springs forth from the fertile seeds that we sow now.  The Piñon is an enduring tree that bears a rich fruit each year, and this fruit has often sustained the Zuni from the beginning of time.  From this small seed there grows a strong tree that sends its hearty roots deep into ·awitelin citta (Earth Mother), and through its annual fruit, transfers that life-giving energy from our beloved and blessed ·awitelin citta to those day people that inhabit this wondrous Garden of Eden.”  José then dropped the seeds in the hands of Raquel and Manuél and told them that this was the last of what he was to gift to them that night.

When Raquel and Manuél had placed the Piñon seeds in their medicine bags and closed them for the last time, José concluded his portion of the initiation by adding, “What I have done here this night is by no means complete.  It is just part of an amazing growth process in the path of two exceptional souls who lives are motivated by the desire for more justice and love in everyone’s life.  It is up to you to complete your own chosen path.  What has been placed in your medicine bags is in no way as great as the very powerful medicine that resides within each of your hearts.  You both have yet to discover what will become your greatest medicine, and when that special medicine has made itself known to you, only you have the rightful authority to place this medicine, or a symbol that represents its enduring power, in your own sacred medicine bag.  Even though I have served to guide you on a portion of this sacred path on this appointed night, I am not the one that would hold your future in my hands.  We are each the only determiner of our own fate, and we only share that divinely decreed duty to love one another in such a fashion as to encourage those unspoken dreams that each of us possess.  You have both given to me this night that precious gift of sharing that I shall never forget, along with the most divine privilege of being with you both on your spiritual journeys.  I love you both more than you will ever know.”

And with these words, the three Shamans retired in their usual fashion, gazing at the wondrous stars, except on this very exceptional occasion they all clung tightly to one another in the cool of that early spring night.  And in their silence they eventually fell peacefully asleep without their usual exchange of provocative words.  After all, during the evolution of that unforgettable evening, all that had needed to be expressed was willingly offered up in words of pure love and caring, and what was left on life’s platter to be shared required no utterance at all’

It was early the next morning, just as the sun was rising in a clear sky, that the three shamans were awakened by the grumbling sounds of a familiar friend.  Simultaneously they looked in the direction of those recognizable sounds and spotted the site of a large brown bear, demonstrating with swaying shoulders his whimsical dismay with their presence.  It was immediately obvious that the bear had come to the spring to drink only to find once again three strange creatures invading his otherwise solitary territory.  With little hesitation and no observable fear of the bear, the Shamans rose and slowly retreated to a safe distance, allowing ample space for the bear to drink from the spring.  The bear then leisurely approached the sacred waters and drank his fill, taking no further notice of those strange intruders.

After the bear had eventually taken his leave, José explained that this was no doubt another demonstration of the natural harmony that should always exist between man and nature.  There was no observable fear initially, but in the calm of the aftermath Manuél was noticeably shivering. “That has got to have been the most unusual awakening I have, in my entire life, ever experienced and in the same instance, the sight of this great beast awakened in me a feeling of spiritual strength that I have never been fully aware of.  I just can't imagine that I will ever feel more alive than I do at this moment.  For a man who always seems to have just the right words, I just don't know what to say or how to express how utterly grateful I am for all that you both have shared and given me.”

As Manuél was expressing these powerful feelings, José placed his arms both about the shoulders of Raquel and his most grateful friend, holding them tenderly with his eyes closed.  “I think it's now time that we should take our last drink from this most sacred telaššina·we and then depart.”  The three Shamans gathered their few belongings and began their descent back into the world of another reality.

                       The Messenger
               

 With such a powerful and inspiring start to a brand new year, each of the three Shamans embraced their daily tasks and responsibilities with a renewed vigor.  In fact, there was so much going on that the time passed all too easily and quickly.  Between the usual tending to her garden as well as aiding in the delivery of another child almost every month, Raquel hardly had the necessary time to devote to all of the reading that she had prescribed for herself.  She had been so impressed with all that José had accomplished the past few years just by reading so many of Manuél’s books that she felt compelled to “catch up.”  The longer days of the summer were a bit better for this project because it gave Raquel better reading light in the early evenings.  As summer was coming to a close, José bought Raquel an exceptionally nice oil lamp with a mirrored reflector so that she could continue her reading even after the sun had gone down.  Prior to this, the old oil lantern and occasional candle just wasn’t sufficiently bright to keep Raquel from squinting at the pages.  She would have probably benefited from the use of some eye spectacles, but when José had tactfully suggested that remedy on several occasions, Raquel could only suggest that she didn’t need any help from those strange Spaniards.

          Her persistent reading had only one significantly long interruption, and that came in mid summer when she helped one of the mothers by caring for her children while this distressed woman returned to her parents’ home to care for her own dying mother.  The care of these four young children lasted for about five weeks, and because Raquel to live in this woman’s home for that period of time, it was difficult to find any additional time for reading even though she had brought along her new oil lamp and several books.  The other challenge was Raquel’s being able to make it back to her own home every couple of days just to tend to her thirsty garden.

          José made it a point to visit her on several evenings, only to bring a book and read it to her while she was still preoccupied with some of those persistent domestic duties like the cooking of the evening’s meal.  “José, you’re just too good to me; shouldn’t you be doing something else with your valuable time?”  Raquel further expressed to José that this beleaguering experience certainly had cured her of any lingering doubts that may have remained about her having chosen to live her life without a spouse and “the constant demands of a bunch of needy children who just seem unable to do anything for themselves.  I just don’t get how Victoria puts up with all of this, and to think it’s on a daily basis, with no time for herself, only to be further burdened with the tender caring for a dying mother!  I really am very, very fortunate!”

          It was now the fifth year of the Mexican rule over this territory, and with each year more than ever there were increasing demands placed on the local clergy to “sew up any loose ends” and ensure that the Catholic Church thoroughly dominated the religious milieu of this northern Mexican providence.  These kinds of unmerited and thoughtless directives coming from Mexico City were found to be rather offensive to Manuél, and he often shared with José just how fortunate he felt that at least the weekly services within the church itself were conducted in a language that even he was often pressed to fully understand: Latin.  Manuél paid lip service to the whole political scene but instead ministered to his parish in such a manner as to only address their most immediate needs: christening; confirmations; weddings; final rites; inevitable burials.  In fact, Manuél was so overwhelmed at times with just these routine duties that he couldn’t have addressed these unwarranted directives from Mexico City had he even agreed with them.  José kept reminding Manuél that when the time was right, they still needed to embark on that promised personal pilgrimage to Mexico City and directly address those rather naïve church authorities, most of who had never even bothered to make an investigatory visit to this area of so much apparent and stated concern.

          As the winter was setting in, José and Raquel had an unexpected visitor from Zuñi.  It was Popékâke, the first-born son of Raquel’s favorite uncle, Koškáti.  Popékâke was Raquel’s most favored childhood buddy.  He had made this particular journey just to inform his displaced relatives of all the current events that were happening to each of their families back in Zuñi and Pescado, and to finally pay a long overdue visit to his beloved yikina (father’s sister’s daughter).  Popékâke went straight to the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri when he first arrived at the village of Albuquerque, as he had been told by his family that it was there that he would be able to get in touch with Kiasiwa and Raquel.  Fortunately he arrived at a time when Manuél was busy working in the church itself, and Popékâke had no difficulty at all in communicating who he was and what he had wanted.  It was late in the day, and Manuél suggested that Popékâke spend the night at the church, get some needed rest due to his trying journey, and that he would be delighted to personally escort him the next morning to the other side of the mountain.  Manuél was particularly pleased to have this most unexpected guest because it gave him an added opportunity to learn even more about his good Zuni friends

          Popékâke and Manuél spent a good portion of that evening just trading stories about José and Raquel, and what was possibly the most intriguing exchange of all came when Manuél shared his exceptional experience with having been recently initiated as a Zuni Medicine Man.  Popékâke was only momentarily surprised at this unexpected report, but as Manuél continued to express just how moved and meaningful the whole experience was to him, it became apparent to Popékâke that this white man more than deserved an honor that was usually reserved only for those who were born Zuni.  Popékâke then disclosed much of his own recent initiation as a Medicine Man back in Zuñi.  Before the two finally retired for the evening they became close friends, much in the same manner as Manuél had become with José, and certainly Raquel as well.  Manuél shared the nocturnal tradition of the three Zuni Shamans of just simply lying beneath the night sky and pondering its infinity, and then suggested that they might share the same that very night.  This totally unabashed acceptance of Manuél by another initiated Zuni Medicine Man was the initial groundwork that would eventually lead to Manuél being taken into one of the ·annoti·we (clans) of the Zuni, as well as a most welcomed acceptance into a Zuni tikanne (curing society). Manuél remained just long enough to eat and then expressed that he really needed to get back to the Iglesia because he had left a number of chores that needed his immediate attention that very day. By the time that Manuél and Popékâke had reached the little adobe on the east side of the mountain at just about mid morning, José had already departed for San Antonito, a little settlement just north, to help with some needed but rather minor repairs to their sanctuary.  José was still very involved and preoccupied with the Catholic church in the village of Albuquerque, but he was also beginning to pay some added attention to his own neighbors on the east side.  Raquel was very excited by the unexpected guest that had been so enthusiastically brought by Manuél, and Raquel insisted that Manuél remain to at least share a midday meal with her and Popékâke, her long-lost and beloved papa (mother’s brother’s son), someone for whom she was anxious to get reacquainted.  Manuél remained just long enough to eat and then expressed that he really needed to get back to the Iglesia because he had left a number of chores that needed his immediate attention that very day.

The news that was probably the most enjoyably shared by the two Zuni cousins was that Popékâke’s newly acquired hom citta, Símacoya, whom he had courted in the more traditional fashion of nightly nuptial visits and had finalized the ritual only three years prior to this timely visit, had given birth to Popékâke’s first child, his hom kacik·i (daughter). Popékâke had insisted on naming the child Šumačale, for his only and lovely yikina (cousin).  Raquel was more than honored, and realized that even in her long absence from Zuñi and Pescado she had been fondly remembered and remained very much a part of her Zuni family and people.  Her other unspoken thought was that the name her mother had so lovingly given her, Šumačale, was finally going to be actually used by another lovely child.  Raquel always appreciated the reasons that her maternal family had always called her “Raquel,” and at the same time she had always loved her Zuni name, mostly because it so connected her to her mother.  In Raquel’s mind, there was little doubt that Popékâke had thoughtfully chosen this name for his own daughter due to the fact that Raquel had once shared with her papa this unspoken desire to actually be known and called by her Zuni name, Šumačale.

Because the work was rather light in San Antonito, José was home well before the sun was to set.  José was overjoyed to find Popékâke visiting his home and greeted him with an enthusiastic embrace.  José wasted little time insisting that Popékâke share with him and Raquel everything that been happening back in Zuni.  Popékâke, just to be fair to José, filled him in on what he had already shared with Raquel about his lovely hom citta, Símacoya, and the fact that he had named his first child Šumačale in honor of Raquel.  This bit of news noticeably touched José, and upon hearing it, he went over to Popékâke and gave him the biggest hug, expressing his gratitude as several tears appeared in his eyes.

          Popékâke then said, “Before I share the rest of the news of Zuñi, I want to tell you just how impressed I was with your friend, Father Manuél.  I was at first surprised to discover that you had shared with a Spaniard some of our most sacred Zuni traditions, but after getting to know him, I was excited to embrace this newly initiated, love-filled, and more than deserving ·ona· ya·naka  ·a·šiwani (a priest of the completed path), and I now, with great pride, call him, my brother.  José, I truly believe that we both felt the same deep emotional feelings, and by the time I left him this morning, I was feeling like we had known each other for an entire lifetime.  Last night Manuél shared with me that marvelous wonderment of the night sky that he said the three of you have so intimately shared these past few years.  I want to thank you for making him a true part of our Zuni family.”

          Popékâke then went on to share the rest of the news from Pescado and Zuñi.  He first reported that his own father, Koškáti, had become a Zuni Medicine Man at the same time of his own initiation some two years prior, and that both of them had also joined the same tikanne (curing society) as the honored Popé.  “Our fathers have become very close in these past few years and I truly believe that your father would ask Koškáti to follow in his footsteps should anything ever happen that would prevent him from practicing his own medicine.  Your father has also taught me a great deal, and I have come to love this man almost as much as I love my own father.  I feel like Popé has become part of my own family, and this makes me feel even closer to the both of you even though we have been separated by time and distance.  Every morning when the sun rises my thoughts go out to Raquel, and I wonder if she is still watching that sun rise each morning as she did when we were only children back in Pescado.  Most of the Zuni people have accepted the idea that the two of you will never return to Zuñi, and all that they really want to know is whether you have actually found the Zuni šipa·puli·ma somewhere here in these Sandia Mountains.  Both of you have become somewhat of a legend back home.  You're really missed back in Zuñi, and I believe you need to return sometime soon, if only to show everyone that the both of you are truly happy and that this move was something very good and perhaps even blessed by our ancestors.  As for me, I can already tell this from the glow in your faces.  Now tell me, have you actually found Zuni’s sacred and mythological šipa·puli·ma?”

          José, with the greatest joy evident in his voice, shared their wondrous discovery of the telaššina·we atop the Sandia Mountain, and just how the both of them knew in their hearts that they had truly discovered what the Zuni had always considered as their most sacred šipa·puli·ma.  “We had, at every crucial point in our sometimes strange journey to the ultimate discovery of šipa·puli·ma, been blessed by the great presence of ·anše (the Bear) who has made himself well known.  The Bear once intervened and kept us from going in the wrong direction, and even though this was rather frightening at the time, we both look back on the experience as a blessing that we are both so honored to have received.  Our Zuni fathers taught us that it is the Bear that will lead us to water when we thirst, and that same Bear will lead us to sacred waters when we have a spiritual thirst.  When we first discovered the telaššina·we atop the mountain, it was this great ·anše himself that drank of the sacred waters while we were there, and it was his powerful presence that gave us the knowledge that we had truly discovered šipa·puli·ma.  I just can't tell you how wonderful all of this has been and how our lives have been so ultimately blessed beyond any of our childhood dreams.  So that you can see all of this for yourself, I will gladly take you there tomorrow if you desire.  By the way, did my friend, Manuél, share with you that we performed the sacred rites of initiation atop this very mountain next to the sacred telaššina·we, and that the Bear once again made his presence and spiritual power known?  Maybe we will be so fortunate as to encounter ·anše once again tomorrow.  Raquel, would you care to join us?”

          Raquel responded, “There is not a day that passes that I don’t have thoughts about that very special place, and I only wish to return and drink further of those cool pure waters as often as I can!  I know that even my spirit will return to this sacred place when I die.  Of course I will gladly join the two of you,”

          Popékâke expressed his great joy and the unexpected honor that it would be to be able to visit such a sacred place, and he thought to himself that none other than a ·akw·a mossi (Medicine Chief) himself would introduce him to the sacred telaššina·we.  Popékâke then went on to share the actual and more pressing reason for his unexpected visit.  “Popé has collapsed on several occasions, and this has given your mother great concern.  She has done everything in her power to lessen his burden.  She tries to make him as comfortable as possible when he's at his place of healing and offering his services to others, who more often than not now have to visit him.  Your mother takes the greatest of care to prepare all of his favorite foods.  Even my own father has encouraged him to slow the pace of his stride and let others carry some of the load, but it just isn't in the nature of your father to slow down, and everyone contends that only his absent son, Kiasiwa, would be able to convince him to take a much-needed rest from all that he does.  Your mother encouraged me to come here and persuade you to return for a visit.  I believe that your mother's concern is very real and that you need to return as soon as it is possible for you to get away from your duties.  I believe that just the knowledge that you will be coming would give your father great comfort.  You know what I think would be even nicer?  Bring Manuél with you and introduce him to his new family.  I just know that your father would feel like he had another son, that he had fathered another powerful Zuni Medicine Man.  This would help him feel like he was young again, and I’m sure this would give him the desire to live a bit longer, if only to have the opportunity to teach Manuél some of the same sacred lessons that he taught you.  I won't dwell on this any longer.  I think that I have told you all that your anxious mother wanted me to share with you, and it is my true feeling that your wonderful father won’t be departing this life for some time to come, but I do feel that you need to return to Zuñi as soon as you can make the arrangements.  Can I tell your family that you will make every effort possible to return sometime in the near future?”

          José indicated to Popékâke of his heartfelt earnest intentions with the saddened nod of his head. He knowingly looked towards Raquel as though he was seeking her positive concurrence.  Both José and Raquel had for some time been considering this needed pilgrimage, and this bit of news was just the impetus to take action.

          The three Zuni Indians ate a grand meal that was worthy of a great celebration and continued exchanging for some time, in their own Zuni language, the details of their recent experiences.  What most fascinated Popékâke was the degree to which José and Raquel had both so mastered the use and reading of the both the Spanish and English languages.  “Do you think I could learn these skills myself?  It would be so wonderful if I could read even half of the books that you have told me about.  I never imagined that there was so much to learn about the world beyond Zuñi.  In fact, I never really imagined that there was anything worth exploring beyond the boundaries of our own Zuni world.  And now you tell me that there is another whole world far beyond that great ocean that lies to the East.  I never imagined that there was anything except the edge of our own world, and I had always thought that the Spanish were just strange descendants of our own old and forgotten ancestors and that the land from which they claim to have come was just another strange name for what we have always called šipa·puli·ma.  What I find so amazing is José’s description of his wondrous journey to this place called St. Louis and this unusual priest who has so many books that are filled with so many words that describe things that I have never even thought of.  I think the two of you have discovered something even greater than what we Zuni call šipa·puli·ma, or just maybe all of this wondrous knowledge is in fact the real essence of the šipa·puli·ma, and those sacred waters that flow from the telaššina·we are also symbolically blessed by the knowledge and wisdom that you have both likely gained just from your reading these many marvelous and mysterious books.  I find it like sitting at some deep well of knowledge and being able to drink to my full contentment.  I wonder how many more books might be out there?  Who writes all of these books anyway?  Would you teach me to read?”

With tears flowing freely from his eyes, José expressed to Popékâke that he had just expressed, in the most beautiful of Zuni words, the very essence of what he and Raquel had only attempted to learn about the teachings of Jesus according to Manuél’s understanding.  Before this moment, neither José nor Raquel had truly understood the deeper meaning that was meant by the words, “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”  José and Raquel had always perceived it as just some profound statement that had been made by some great teacher to impress his followers with his clever use of words.  All of a sudden the whole idea of words having more power than what they can transmit with their meanings became readily apparent to both José and Raquel, and they both experienced the same revelation as they witnessed Popékâke’s glowing sense of having encountered that utter freedom of thought.  Popékâke’s inner eyes were blissfully opened for the first time in his life, and he realized that there was a vast world beyond the scope of his once limited child-like imagination.  And José and Raquel understood for the first time what Manuél had meant when he told them, “You have opened my eyes to a world beyond anything that I had ever dreamed.  I have learned something very special through my most intimate friendship with you and that is that there are worlds out there, the discovered existence of which only proved to me that my own little world is but a small part of this great universe.”

José suggested that they had probably all shared enough heavy thoughts for that evening of joyous reunion and that perhaps they should now go outside for just a few moments before they sleep, lie down on the ground together, and quietly gaze at those countless and marvelous pin-points of light that seem to so endlessly fill the night’s blackened heavens.  On this extraordinary night of discovering that ultimate sense of total freedom, there was no moon to otherwise lighten the darkness of the cosmos and thus rob the stars of their own individual sparkle, which only made this sacred and shared moment all the more dramatic The only element that was noticeably missing was that crazy Spaniard that had all those mundane duties to perform back in the village of Albuquerque.

It was early the next morning when the three Zuni Indians quickly departed for the mountaintop.  Even though José and Raquel were sufficiently familiar with the route that allowed them to make the entire trip in just one long day, it had become the usual expectation that they would always spend the night somewhere close to the telaššina·we.  They also hoped and eagerly anticipated that the great Bear might be there to greet them in the early morning hour.

          There was such energy among all three of these Shamans when they finally arrived at the sacred spring just past the noon hour.  For much of that afternoon, the three of them just sat on the rocky edge of a cliff that was nearby the spring, talking only intermittently and gazing at the Rio Grande valley that lay before them to the west.  Popékâke actually did most of the talking as he was so excited by the entire experience, and what he repeated most of that afternoon was his utter astonishment at the grandeur of the view and the profound feelings that he was experiencing at just the thought that he had actually come face to face with Zuni’s sacred šipa·puli·ma.  “I never imagined that I would have ever had this exceptional experience.  I feel so privileged to just be here with two of my most loved friends, and to think that we have all been initiated as Zuni Medicine Men.  I’m in some strange state for which I simply have no words with which to express my total wonderment at everything I am seeing and experiencing.  I know that my father always wanted this for me, and I only wish that he could be here right now with us and have this amazing experience for himself.”

As the sun was setting behind the horizon, they gathered some wood and built a small fire.  They only ate some of the bread that Raquel had brought, repeatedly drank from the sacred spring, and laid on their blankets, gazing at the night’s brilliant sky.  Popékâke expressed, “I feel like I could reach out and touch those stars for the first time.  I’ve never been so close!  I really do want to learn how to read those marvelous books of the white man.”

Come the next morning, no one was at all astonished to find that the Bear had indeed made his usual appearance at the spring.  Popékâke was so excited at the Bear being there that he quickly got up from his blanket and verbally greeted the Bear with such excitement and enthusiasm that it sort of startled the otherwise serene beast, who all too quickly retreated.  Raquel said, “You scared our dear friend away.”

Popékâke answered, “No one can scare that great beast; he is all-powerful and I was only showing him my greatest respect for all the gifts that he brings so unselfishly into all of our little lives.  Just his presence on this land is such a great blessing, and from this point forward I will always take time to honor his endless power and wonderment in everything that I do.”  Popékâke turned to José. “Your father should be here to see this for himself.  Isn’t it strange that it is your father who is the very cause of my being here and having this wonderful experience!  Perhaps he is here and with us in spirit?”

José said, “Every Zuni Medicine Man comes here in spirit at some point in his life, even if it is just in a dream, and this is why we have learned of this sacred place from our Zuni fathers who never actually had the time to make this wonderful journey.  There is very probably a šipa·puli·ma of sorts in every one’s lives; whether they ever discover it may be a matter of great chance.  And what I have learned from Manuél is that one does not have to be Zuni, and Raquel can tell you that this šipa·puli·ma does not restrict itself to only men.  I had to come here and discovered for myself this most sacred telaššina·we, encounter this great and peaceful Bear with all of its noble powers, and learn that power does not have to be harmful, to realize that a man not born Zuni can be my true brother, that my mother gave me more life and substance than my father—that mothers and sisters should be able to find their own šipa·puli·ma, or at the very least, share mine as though it was theirs, and satisfy their own spiritual thirst by drinking the sacred waters of the Zuni telaššina·we; I needed to learn that there was a world far beyond Zuni that possessed spiritual knowledge needed by all men to live life to the fullest; I had to come to know that the power we attribute to our own medicine comes from those that we treat—it is they who empower the Medicine Man; I have learned that to require more than I need violates our loving ·awitelin citta (Earth Mother); I had to be taught the meaning of a new word, “love,” by a Spanish priest that had learned this special form of love from a man that lived before the Zuni were introduced to this land; I had to do all of this before I actually realized that being a real man of any value was as simple as putting everything I possess aside and simply gazing at those stars that humble me in the most profound manner.  All of this was something that even my own loving father couldn’t have given me; I had to discover this for myself.  And I was able to do this because one man taught me, no, we learned from each other that we need to be more than we think we are and at the same instant, less than we have been taught to believe.”

          Popékâke said, “I’m not sure that I understand all of this?  What do you mean by my being less than what I have been taught to believe?”

          José answered, “This will all come to you in good time.  You have a good heart, and I would only instruct you to listen to what that heart speaks to you, and not let anyone, including myself, ever direct its purest thoughts or its actions of love.  Your own heart is your only source of that divine love.  I can love you as I do, but unless you love yourself enough to be able to love others despite their faults and differences, you will never know the true meaning of love.  If you do what I tell you to do, then your actions are mine and not yours, and I would have possibly only made a slave of you, your body and even your mind.  I want you to experience true freedom, and that wouldn’t be possible if you think only the way ‘I’ or anybody else would seemingly demand of you to think.  This is equally true of the idea of belief; if I ask you to believe something and you accept just what I offer as the only truth of the matter, then it would be ‘my’ belief that you possess, and very possibly a belief that is only real in my own imagination, not a reality to anyone else.  Manuél and I have discovered from each other that what we have both been taught ‘to believe’ was not always the ultimate truth of the matter.  We find no fault with our teachers, they possibly meant well in what they taught, and they were only able to teach what they had learned from another.  Ignorance so sadly begets ignorance; there is no fault here.  Manuél has confessed more than once that he had been instructed to believe something that just wasn’t what his true master and teacher, Jesus, had taught his own followers at the time of his life in that far away land.  I have read of a great Christian thinker that intuitively separated himself from this Catholic Church because he discovered for himself that so much of what he had been taught as the absolute truth was not the truth at all--in fact, it was often just the opposite.  When this very smart man, whose name was Martin Luther, told others of his spiritual discoveries, there was a big division in the Catholic Church.  Our minds and souls can be unjustly imprisoned by teachings that are simply not founded in the truth, and we are apt to become the slaves of those that imprison us with these imagined beliefs.  If we accept from our spiritual enslavers a ‘truth’ that is rightly false, then it would be better that we become something ‘less’ that what we were lead to believe.  With beliefs that are not of the truth, it is better that we become as that innocent child that we were before we were so sadly misguided.  Manuél and I discovered this wisdom when he was sharing with me another wise saying of this great man called Jesus, ‘Except that you become as children, will you enter the kingdom of heaven.’  This kingdom of heaven is what the Spanish call their own šipa·puli·ma, and for them, it was somewhere up there in those heavens and it is invisible to our eyes.  They are told to ‘believe’ in the existence of this invisible heaven.

          “Raquel discovered a powerful place for her to take her spiritual thoughts and she named this mystical rock that she often sits upon, “Medicine Rock.”  This rock is a most powerful place for Raquel, and we all came to understand that the rock got its spiritual power from Raquel very much like I now understand that my power as a Medicine Man comes from those that I treat.  We are all gods in our own right, and we are only empowered to the degree that we learn to love ourselves and to love our neighbors equally.  Believe me, Popékâke!  Oh, please disregard that word ‘believe’; it has become an awkward manner of speech that is all too common in both the Spanish and English language, and even we Zunis have our own word for this sometimes misleading command.  I am trying, and so are Manuél and Raquel, to use the word, ‘think’ instead, or even the just the words, ‘consider this.’  I don’t want you to believe anything I tell you unless it is something that you know in your own mind or heart to be true, and it may be something that is only true for you!  This will all come to you in good time.”

          It was difficult for José to express in such a short period of time those things that had taken him and Raquel the better part of their stay in the this foreign land to discover for themselves with their dear friend, Manuél.  But Popékâke had come into this world with that capacity to learn beyond the initial limitations of his birth and modest upbringing, and with this innate capacity, Popékâke took what José had shared with him to heart without any hesitation.

Zuñi Bound

Despite the tone of urgency that had been so cautiously expressed by Popékâke that José and Raquel should make plans to return to Zuñi soon, it just couldn’t have immediately occurred in a timely fashion.  Among the most pressing factors was that Raquel had become the singular woman that the majority of the east side residents had come to depend on as a midwife, amongst her other often-needed domestic and health services. Raquel had several women that were possibly expecting to deliver at any given moment.  José was equally pressed for his time, as he had increasingly invested more and more energy in reaching out to the people that lived east of the village of Albuquerque, mostly on the east side of the Sandia Mountains.  José was beginning to be more commonly recognized and sincerely appreciated as a Zuni Medicine Man, and even some of those more devout Christians that would have once denounced him as sort of a “witch doctor” now sought his caring skills in reducing their occasional pains and trauma.  Even of more significance was his unsolicited and growing reputation for being a wise and impartial counselor in any number of personal dilemmas.  The men seemed to have felt particularly safe disclosing to this Zuni Wiseman whom they were most confident would not ever expose their vulnerability.

It was interesting just how these increasingly frequent contacts would actually occur.  Most of these troubled men would simply come to the adobe under the pretensions of offering, say, some home-grown produce or firewood usually in the guise of a belated payment or show of thanks for some previous service rendered by José or Raquel; some of these men for whom no services had actually been rendered, would simply suggest, “I thought you might have some need of this or that.  We had this to spare and we really wanted to show our appreciation for all that you have done for our church…(or our neighbor, etc).”  José always had a keen sense that they were actually seeking his counsel, and José was always careful and sensitive enough to display tact in his responsive approach as to never embarrass any of these men.  What was so amusing was that nearly all of these men thought that they were the only man to have ever sought out José’s sensitive wisdom, and José always took great care to never give any cause for any of these men to think differently.

As it was for José in these often private matters of the men folk, Raquel’s was equally sought out by many of the women for her own sensitive counseling abilities and very often in the same rather amusing guise.  This unsolicited barter for counseling services rendered was mutually appreciated and undoubtedly beneficial to both parties.  It all added up to just what we should all expect in a loving human community.

An entire cycle of the year’s seasons had quickly passed since Popékâke’s welcomed and excited visit, and it was soon to be another quiet winter.  José and Raquel finally made the necessary arrangements to be away from their adobe and return to Zuñi for that long overdue return home.  With Raquel’s garden finally put to rest for the winter and José having successfully addressed most of the more urgent requests for his services, they asked Manuél to make plans to accompany them to Zuñi, mostly in order for him to finally meet their respective families and have that potentially rewarding experience of actually living amongst the Zuni people, if only for a short period of time.  Manuél arranged to be away from his own demanding pastoral duties at the Iglesia de San Felipe de Neri under the more acceptable appearance of doing some additional missionary work with the Zuni People.

The four shamans left for Zuñi for what they anticipated to be about month’s retreat from their usual duties.  This journey gave these three an opportunity to rejuvenate their wonderful relationship that had been slightly curtailed by each of these unselfish and giving individuals having so much to accomplish on their own.  The summation of all of these added demands had left them with too little time to just be together as they had more frequently enjoyed earlier in their exuberating relationship. 

This rather needed and timely journey only took four ambitious days of travel, and each of those mystical nights were greeted and blessed with clear skies that enabled this party of Shamans to once again bask in the vast wonderment of those crisp night skies.  The timing of this journey, like the serendipitous timing of so many of the other notable events in these three Shaman’s mutually charmed lives, was just perfect, most particularly since those four nights were during the earliest period of the new moon.  The night skies were particularly dark, and the chill in the night air encouraged them to huddle ever so closely as they lay on their blankets, gazing into those seemingly endless heavens.  The two men would thoughtfully place Raquel between them to be fully assured of her own body’s warmth.  It was a most welcomed re-bonding of three exceptionally loving souls!

They had finally reached the ancestral lands of the Zuni early on the fourth day of their journey.  Pescado was en route to the final destination, and even though they had initially intended to visit and possibly spend at least one night with Raquel’s family, they only spent the briefest period of time at Koškáti’s dwelling.  When they arrived in the village Pescado at just about mid-afternoon, they were pleased to find not only Koškáti but other members of Raquel’s family, including Raquel’s mother, Šumahanni and Koškáti’s son, Popékâke, at home.  There were the usual warm and excited greetings, which were all too shortly overshadowed by the news that Popé wasn’t faring well.  Popé had apparently experienced several recent dizzy spells that had unfortunately rendered him motionless for several days, and there was intense concern as to just how long this great Zuni Medicine Man was going to remain amongst the living.

Koškáti had just returned from spending a few days with Popé in Zuñi, and having just surveyed the possibly grim situation, readily suggested that the three Shamans ought to depart immediately.  Popékâke assured Raquel that he and his father would join them in Zuñi the very next day, and asked Raquel to take special care in reassuring José that his father’s health would no doubt rebound just at the sight of his son.  “I’m so glad that you have been able to make this needed and now so timely journey before there was some greater tragedy in the family.  Now I think it is time that you need to be off, so that you might reach Zuñi before nightfall.  Tell that ailing man, Popé, for all of us, that we will be having a healing ceremony in his honor this very night in Pescado, and that we will be joining all of you by the noon hour following the next rising of the sun.”  The three Shamans of Zuni’s šipa·puli·ma, at the cautious and kind urging of Popékâke, parted hastily. 

The Shamans reached Zuñi late on that fourth day of their journey and immediately headed for José’s home.  The hearty greetings that the party received reminded José that the Zuni people knew him only by his given name of Kiasiwa, and not by his Christian name of José.  José had for so long only answered to the call of his Christian name, even from his beloved Raquel, that just for a slightest moment he felt a shivering, chilling, feeling of abandonment.  They were all initially greeted by Tekkâke, whose eyes immediately filled with tears of joy at the very sight of her greatly missed son, and she excited stated, “Your tačču·mo (a ritual name for father) has missed you with all of his being.  Because he tires so easily these days he had already taken his leave for the night, but I will gladly awaken him from his sleep.  I know that he will be anxious to see all of you.  Kiasiwa, please be calm in greeting him; he hasn’t been of good health, and I fear he rests too much for his own good.”

Tekkâke immediately went to get José’s tačču·mo and soon returned with Popé leaning gently against her. As soon as Popé had full sight of Kiasiwa, his entire countenance immediately improved and the formerly slumped-over figure of the ailing Popé was almost instantaneously transformed into what most had always remembered: that of a tall, proud, erect Medicine Man.  Popé, with a note of renewed strength in his voice, said, “I feel so much better with just the sight of you, hom ·akcek·i.  I truly believed that I would never see you again while still in this life.  I should have known that you would eventually return to your ancestral home and give your poor father one last change to have a good look at his most beloved hom ·akcek·i.  I thank you so much for your coming.  Your being here has rejuvenated my spirit and is the best of all medicines that I can imagine.”  And with tears of joy flowing down his wrinkled cheeks, Popé embraced hom ·akcek·i and remained in that warm and smothering embrace for what seemed like an eternity.

“Who are these two fine-looking figures?  Oh my!  Raquel, you have grown into such a handsome woman that I almost didn’t recognize you.  Have you brought me a nana (grandson)?”  And at that same instant Popé, took an intense retake of Manuél’s own powering presence and added, “This fine stature of a man doesn’t have the good looks of a Zuni?  You must be one of those Spaniards!”  But with an assuring voice, said, “If you are a friend of my Kiasiwa, then you must actually be a fine Spaniard, and I am most honored to welcome you into my home.”  After giving Raquel a warm and lingering embrace, Popé greeted and welcomed Manuél in kind, and ever so hesitantly stepping back, Popé slowly placed his hand on a slight bulge that was barely noticeable beneath Manuél’s black shirt.  “What’s this that I feel?  Is it what I think it to be, the sacred bag of a Medicine Man?”  Despite the questioning yet condoning tone in Popé’s still authoritative and charismatic voice, there was a sort of profound and proud acceptance of the prospect that another compassionate soul had joined the exclusive ranks of the Zuni Medicine Men.  “We’ll have to do something about this while you are here in Zuñi!  We will have to call for a proper recognition and welcome with all of your newly acquired clansmen assembled so that we can also have you properly inducted as a brother in our family’s ·anše·kwe (Bear clan).”

Kiasiwa was only a bit astonished at Popé’s almost immediate recognition and easy acceptance of Manuél being an initiated Medicine Man until Kiasiwa realized that Popékâke had probably shared all of this with Popé when he had first returned from his visit more than a year ago.  Popé to Kiasiwa, “I am pleased with what you have accomplished with this Spaniard.  What am I to call him?  You know that these crazy Spaniards and their rather pious priests are always giving us one of their own silly names.  Perhaps we should give this fine Medicine Man a Zuni name of his own so that we can use it for his proper recognition?  I feel in my heart of hearts that it would be most acceptable to your grandfather for this fine man to have use of his own honored name, Naiyutchi, especially since he has no further use of it himself.  I think Naiyutchi would be well pleased to have his name be brought alive again and to be bestowed on one such as this so gifted of a man.”  Little did anyone (with the exception of Kiasiwa) realize that the very medicine bag that hung about Manuél’s neck was lovingly crafted from Naiyutchi’s own leather bag in which he had kept many of his medicinal herbs!  This most flattering and endearing name struck deep at the hearts of both Manuél and José, and they exchanged a tearful and instantaneous glance that must have certainly communicated their shared elation of having been so affectionately affirmed by this other most exalted and recognized Zuni Medicine Man, Popé.

Popé continued addressing Kiasiwa. “And I understand that you have shared this same honor with another that usually does not grace our sanctified company?”  He turned affectionately towards Raquel, who was by this time standing next to her proud mother-in-law, who had tenderly placed her arm about Raquel’s waist. “I want to welcome you as well, and I hope that you will join with us in this proper recognition, and we will naturally call you by your more appropriate name, Šumačale.”  Popé then left the room ever so briefly and returned with a small pebble that he immediately and affectionately handed Šumačale, and said,  “This belongs to you.  You should place this in your medicine bag and know that it comes from your spiritual father, tačču·mo, who loves you more than can ever be rightfully expressed.”  Only Popé knew that this bit of stone came from that very bend in the Zuni River where Raquel’s conception that had taken place in those cool waters.  Popé had only retrieved this pebble the previous year, after he had learned from Popékâke of Raquel’s initiation by Kiasiwa.  Raquel sensed from Popé’s warm and strong embrace that he intuitively knew that he was greeting her with the unspoken recognition that she was truly of his own flesh and blood.  Kiasiwa shared the same sense, as did Manuél, and the Shamans all looked on this tender scene with a feeling of deep compassion.  After this caring and emotionally tender incident, that initial and rather half-hearted questioning about whether Raquel had brought Popé a nana (grandson) was tactfully and intentionally overlooked and never addressed again.

Popé, who was noticeably exhausted by the more than pleasurable excitement of these welcomed but unanticipated guests, was all too soon to retire, but not without adding just one additional bit of unexpected sentimentality. Addressing Manuél, he said, “Naiyutchi, if I may now call you that, I would be so honored that if for the purpose of this ceremony, I may address you as hom ·akcek·I, and with the greatest pride, introduce you to my clan brothers as such?  Will you allow me this privilege?”  Manuél uttered no words, and with just the gentlest nodding of his head he displayed to Popé his grateful acceptance, finally giving the retiring Popé the warmest of embraces.  And with all of this having transpired, the three travel-weary Shamans were escorted by Poškake to a nearby neighbor’s home where a recent death in this neighbor’s family had unfortunately made available an extra bed for these unanticipated guests.  In the excitement of these celebrated moments, no one had even taken notice that the evening meal was unintentionally overlooked.  And that was, after all, of little consequence to any of these Shamans, since these three close friends were more than adequately nourished with a uniquely human nourishment, a sustenance that easily and nearly always transcends all the other perceived physical needs: love.  After all, it is said “man does not live by bread alone.”

The next day arrived with such an air of utter joy, and oh what a beautiful day it was.  Raquel had risen before everyone else just so she could, in her usual fashion, aptly greet the Zuni yatokka tačču in the same fashion as she had so lovingly done throughout her childhood; it gave her the feeling that she was truly home!  Tekkâke had also awakened early that morning so that she could prepare a morning feast for all the Medicine Men (and Woman) that were to be assembled in Zuñi that very day.  Even before Raquel and her traveling companions had returned to that consecrated home of the Zuni Medicine Man, Koškáti and Popékâke had already arrived from their own home in Pescado.

Popé had arisen totally rested and not so mysteriously rejuvenated to a new day, appearing as though he had never been ill a single day in his life.  There was an atmosphere of joyous celebration in the air as this unusual assemblage ravenously shared what Tekkâke had so lovingly prepared.  There were so many exciting and stirring words exchanged that it required an inordinate amount of time to eventually finish their morning feast, but this was of little consequence to Popé, as he had hoped for and envisioned this day ever since Popékâke had returned from Albuquerque and the sacred site of the Zuni šipa·puli·ma.  Popé was so totally taken with and bathed in the elevated spiritual energy that he remained rather silent, listening with great pride and intensity to the many interactions between all of his spiritual children. Popé was obviously far more nourished by the company than by all the offerings of that morning’s lovingly prepared meal, and there was an occasional tear that would appear in Popé’s eyes to indicate just how deep the feelings ran and how totally delighted he was to have his entire spiritual family assembled under one joyous roof.  He repeatedly felt the unseen but spiritual presence of his own father, Naiyutchi, and knew that Naiyutchi would have been well pleased with the initiation of his beautiful granddaughter as well as the unpretentious inclusion into the family of this most loving Spanish priest, Manuél, who now bore the proud and time-honored name of Naiyutchi himself.

Popé finally broke his prolonged silence and shared his many feelings of pride and the fact that he felt that the contented spirit of his father, Naiyutchi, had joined them in their celebration of family.  Popé declared, “In the deepest part of my spirit, I have always known that this very special day would eventually come.  Tomorrow when yatokka tačču (Sun Father) enters the Zuni nadir, I want us all to be assembled at the great Kiva where we will all become as one spirit.  It is at this appointed time, when the sun sets in the West that I, wema·  ·a·šiwani (a beast priest-the Bear having dominion over and specifically representing the West), will willingly place the mark of the bear on each of your souls and confirm that you are all true brothers of ·anše·kwe (Bear clan).  I will proudly ask some of my Bear brothers to be present to bear witness to this joyous recognition.  I will also, at that time, share with you the very essence of our chosen paths as Zuni Medicine Men.  It is a lesson that I had learned from my father, but it took me a lifetime to recognize the full importance of what he taught me.  I have always tried to give my very best to every brother and sister, but I have come to realize that in my obsession with doing my best I have often overlooked just how simple our medicine really is, and even more importantly, for us to recognize that other great and often untapped sources of the power of healing lie deep in the souls of those that we so humbly attempt to treat.  We need to recognize and pay due respect to that other often-overlooked source of power and understand that our medicine is absolutely nothing without it.  Give it some thought, my beloved children, in your own private and silent ways, and tomorrow I will fully explain what I mean by all of this.”  Popé, having finally disclosed what had been so heavy on his heart to his spiritual family, said that he was going to spend the remainder of the day at the river’s side, preparing and cleansing his spirit for this joyous occasion.  He then asked Kiasiwa if he would seek out some of the other Zuni brothers and ask them to help in the preparation of the great Kiva, as well as to ask some of them to plan on attending this special ceremony.  Popé knew that this would naturally afford Kiasiwa the opportunity to reconnect with some of his old friends before the ceremony.

Manuél accompanied José at his encouragement on this mission of recruitment, and Raquel anxiously returned to Pescado with Koškáti and Popékâke to spend the remainder of the day and the ensuing night with her own family.  It was on this journey back to Pescado that Raquel learned just how closely Koškáti had become such a respected friend of and devoted companion to Popé.  Koškáti said to Raquel, “Even though I'm just a bit older, Popé has so affectionately treated me like his own hom ·akcek·i (son) in all the matters of being a Zuni Medicine Man while at the same time shown me the respect of a true and blood brother.  I just can't begin to tell you just how wonderful and loving this very special man is, and just how easy it appears for him to show his endless love for all.  There are often tears in his eyes when something beautiful touches his soul.  When I am with him, I know that this world is a beautiful place and that we are here for a good reason.  I believe, no, I know that this man loves everyone he touches, and he only has eyes for the good that is in his brothers and sisters.  He judges no man or woman, and if he ever has a harsh word on his lips, it usually has something to do with himself or some perceived failure on his part--never for anyone else!  I just can’t believe that this man has a single fault!  I've never met a man as loving, but this morning I believe I recognized many of those same loving qualities in both Kiasiwa and Manuél, and naturally in you as well.  Are you as truly happy in your life as I am?”

Raquel affirmed her great joy and expressed just how wonderful it was to be treated as an equal amongst men, something that she was very sure would have never happened had she only remained in Pescado.  Raquel said, “Kiasiwa is an exceptional man and I believe that Manuél is every bit his equal, even though he is not a Zuni.  You can't believe just how much I have learned these past few seasons.  I never dreamed that there was so much beyond this great land of the Zuni.  Sometimes I feel like I have reached up and been able to touch those tiny bits of light that so miraculously fill the sky at night.  When the three of us are together, and it is that time when the night becomes its darkest, we often lie on the ground and just endlessly gaze into that infinite darkness.  You know, there's so much that we Zuni have not yet learned about this wonderful land that we live upon, and even more mysteriously, there are so many other lands and peoples that exist beyond our imagination.  And with all that I have been learning, I have also come to accept and recognize that I have everything I need right here in my own little world.  Kiasiwa and Manuél have made me such a complete part of their world, and in doing so, I feel more fulfilled than if I had been that traditional Zuni woman and only had a family to care for.  I respect all of these wonderful Zuni women like my mother, your sister, but I would have never known just how wonderful this life really was had I remained in Pescado and taken a common Zuni man as my hom tačču and bore him children.  I will admit that there are times that I wish I had a daughter that I could teach and share what I have learned in this life, and I most assuredly would encourage her to live the kind of life I have discovered in šipa·puli·ma.  But of course that will never happen now.  Don’t tell Šumahanni (Raquel’s mother) any of this except those parts about just how happy I am.  I want her to believe that she has had a full life, and she certainly has in more ways than she will even recognize; her loving sacrifices gave me the very chance to have so much more in my own life.  And if you hadn’t given me all the love and care that you showed me all of those years of my youth, I wouldn’t have been so prepared for the very life that I have been so blessed with.  I’m not sure that I have ever properly thanked you for all that you have so lovingly given to me, including the close friendship that I have with your hom ·akcek·i, Popékâke.  And by the way, is there some deeper meaning to his familiar sounding name?”

Koškáti went on to explain to Raquel that he had intentionally named hom ·akcek·i ‘Popé,’ because he had secretly hoped that Popékâke would one day become a Zuni Medicine Man.  “I wanted my son to be just as bright and gifted as I had perceived Popé to be, and I hoped in my heart that by giving him that special name along with a portion of mine, it would somehow bless his life and lead him to the proper path.  I didn’t want to appear so presumptuous as to name him Naiyutchi, or some name that would have easily conjured that image of my great hopes for him.  Naiyutchi was a great and loved Medicine Man, and using the name of his son felt simply better to me in some unspoken manner.  We need to honor the living while they live and not just only once they are no longer with us.  I never dreamed that I would have become so involved myself with this most honored family.  I feel like such a welcomed part of Popé’s family, and now, with all that is about to take place, I know that it was something that had always been determined to be in all of our futures.  I believe I must have even imagined your own part in all of this or I don’t believe that I would have made you such an important part of my own life, almost equal to that of Popékâke.  Isn’t it strange how we have all returned to the very roots of our earlier dreams and are about to become even closer in spirit?  Would you believe all of this has actually happened in such a marvelous and unexpected manner?”  This was all followed with a period of silent contemplation, and mood reflected an inner peace that they all shared.

Raquel thought to herself, if only Koškáti knew the entire story? Having given it some tender thought, she went on to address both Koškáti and Popékâke.  “Since we are all about to celebrate something so very special and dear to all of us, I want to share something incredibly special with you.  Now I hope you won’t too easily share this with anybody else in our family; this is something that I want to share only with the two of you!  You know how Tonašike never seemed to have treated me as he treated my brother and sister?  Well, perhaps it was because he knew somewhere deep in his own soul that I wasn’t of his own flesh.  I was indeed different, and it wasn’t until I took Kiasiwa as my hom tačču, and on the very night of our nuptial union, that we discovered that we had the same father.  That is why there have been no children born of this spiritual union.  So now you can better understand that in some deeper way we really are all of the same family.  The blood that flows in my body is that of Naiyutchi, and I share that blood with the same blood that flows within both of you.  So you see, we are truly of one shared blood, and if you knew just what a true and loving brother Manuél has become to the two of us, you would know that his rightful part in this Zuni family is just as blood-bound, even with him not a Zuni.  Now you know just how meaningful all of this is for all of us, and certainly of the greatest significance to Popé himself.  I intuitively know that Popé has only recently become consciously aware of all of this, and that he really feels that we are all his spiritual children in many ways that aren’t spoken.  I am so pleased and grateful that you chose to name hom ·akcek·i, Popékâke.  It just confirms that in spirit we truly are just one family.  And the most interesting thing of all: last evening when we were first assembled at the house of healing, Popé gave to Manuél the highest honor of all by assigning him the Zuni name of Naiyutchi.  You weren’t there last night when these two first encountered.  Had you been, you would have witnessed an instant bond between them.  And even more significantly, Popé intuitively discovered Manuél’s medicine bag beneath his blouse and had made an especially affectionate note of it.  ‘What do we have here?’  What Popé didn’t have any knowledge of was that Kiasiwa had intentionally crafted the medicine bag from a portion of a pouch in which Naiyutchi had kept his herbs of ·awitelin citta (Earth Mother).  But of course, I actually believe that all is intuitively known to the heart of any true Medicine Man!  Popé gave me a river pebble, and I knew in my heart at that very moment that it must have come from the Zuni River exactly where he had intimately encountered my mother, Šumahanni.  I was conceived in the water by a great Medicine Man, and at that very moment, all of our lives were destined to be something that none of us could have ever determined for ourselves alone.  I was conceived in water, and a Roman Catholic Priest in the village of Albuquerque poured water over my head as an infant.  And another priest, Manuél, gave a vial that had once contained holy water to Kiasiwa that is now in my medicine bag.  It was the source of the sacred water from the telaššina·we that led us to discover our beloved Zuni šipa·puli·ma.  And in my heart, I know that this great gift of water will play an even greater part in all of our lives.  I think that there is more to this great gift of water than we will ever come to know in our lifetime.”

It was just at about this time that these three Zuni Medicine Healers were approaching that unusual bend in the Zuni River.  Raquel had never known exactly where that fortuitous event had actually taken place, but as they approached this part of the river, Raquel had a chilled feeling that produced a slight shiver in her body. “You know, I possess the strangest feeling in my entire being that it was right here that all of this began some 28 passings of all the seasons ago.  Would you wait for me, just a bit of time?  I want to walk down by the river.”  Raquel then dismounted her horse and walked quietly by the river’s edge.  She paused just a bit and then turned to her two companions and said most affirmatively, “I know that this is the very place where this wonderful life of mine all began so many years ago!”  She reached down and picked up a small pebble from the river’s edge and placed it in her medicine bag.  “Now we can go home and share all of this excitement with the rest of the family--of course, not everything!”

The horses all took a long, leisurely drink from the river and the three were soon off for Pescado with a noticeably increased pace.  It was as though this intimate disclosure had been mysteriously timed to meet with that special bend in the river, and now that it was completed, it was time to quickly move on.  These Shamans were not necessarily expected back in Pescado, as when Koškáti and Popékâke had left so early that morning they had no idea what they would be doing for the rest of the day, perhaps even spending the night in Zuñi.  As they approached their home very close to noon, Raquel expressed, “You know, I really don’t feel like this is my home anymore.  It is just where I was prepared for a life that is so far from here, both in distance and meaning.  But it is still the home of my mother’s family, and as such I am pleased to be returning and sharing the many fruits of this great land that nourished my youth.  You know, I still grow some of the same squash in my own garden back in šipa·puli·ma, and I grew those first seeds with the water that Kiasiwa and I only later discovered had actually come from our own most sacred telaššina·we.  You see, even the land and its many fruits remain connected in a most mysterious manner, and we should know that that same yatokka tačču (Sun Father) warms both Pescado and our discovered and beloved šipa·puli·ma.”

The three travelers went directly to Raquel’s home and left her there to spend some private time with her mother.  It was late in the fall and there were still some squash and gourds that needed harvesting, so Raquel found her mother alone on this particular day.  There had already been several night frosts, but certain gourds were better left to dry on the vine in the open air.  Raquel’s younger sister was away that day visiting the home of her hom tačču, and she had taken her young children along.  Raquel and Šumahanni had the entire dwelling to themselves, at least until Tonašike returned just before the sun was to set.  This was more than enough time for these two Zuni women to share their life’s experiences.  Raquel’s mother was most excited to learn about Raquel’s experiences as a midwife and the care that she gave to young children. 

What Šumahanni was even more fascinated with was Raquel’s attempt to explain that she had learned to read books.  “There are words that have been placed on pieces of parchment or ‘paper’ (a term that was unfamiliar to the Zuni) and they speak to you when you read them.  It is something like what that priest gave to you when I was christened and you gave it to me.  The difference is that there are many more words and lots of those ‘sheets’ that have been attached to one another and placed between two thicker covers, some even made of animal hides.  I wish that I had brought some of these beautiful books; I would love reading them and sharing them with you.  They are filled with all kinds of unusual ideas--ideas that are often very strange to Zuni ears.  I have learned things that I never even dreamed of, and this experience has made me very pleased with my own life.  In some manner, I owe all of this to you, because you took me to this far away place at great peril because you had a feeling that it was the right thing to do.  I can tell you that you made the right decision, and I have already thanked your brother, Koškáti, for the part that he had played in my christening by the priest.  I am truly happy beyond my greatest expectations.  And I thank you for so much of what I now have, more than you will ever know.  And though it will probably never be expressed to you in person, I now know in my heart that Popé is equally grateful for all that you have given him, even though you may not feel that you have done anything so very special.  You did give me my life!”  Raquel felt so free after sharing all of this with her mother.  The knowledge of all of this was never a true burden to Raquel, but with her now expressing it all to her mother, there was an added peace to her most inner spirit.  Perhaps it was the fact of simply sharing her appreciation that her strange beginnings were really a blessing in disguise.  It is said that “confession is good for the soul,” and this all had that presumed same dynamic effect on Raquel’s inner being even if it wasn’t necessary to disclose.  And what wasn’t fully expressed in words was certainly shared in the spirit of the exchange between this mother and her courageous daughter.